My best friend M is a dancer, a professional dancer. Okay, okay, I worded that promiscuously…
on purpose, by accident. Let’s start again. My best friend M is a professional ballerina. She’s amazing. She Sugar Plum fairy-ed (fairied? Made up a word, no stress) her heart out during the holidays in a preformace of The Nutcracker, and to be honest…it WOWED me. This is coming from the same girl who went with M years ago to Boston to see some ballet in some theater about…something. While M stared dreamily at the stage in awe, I slumped down in my seat and whispered mischievously to her, “Pssst…PSST…Was that bald guy’s head in front of us THAT big when the ballet started? It’s a PLANET!”
Needless to say, I don’t really GET ballet.
Example: When M first found out she would be starring as the Sugar Plum Fairy, she skipped up to me like a child on Christmas morning, who just found out Santa delivered the Polly Pocket Delux kid. In return, with all of the reciprocal excitement I could physically show, I asked her if that meant she would be one of the swans.
Are there swans in The Nutcracker? Apparently not.
But M rocked.
I am more of a sports game personality. I love the adrenaline and exhilaration that comes from being at a sports game. I love the smack talking that occurs between rivaling fans (That’s right, Yankees, take your 27 championships and your brand new stadium somewhere else! We have Fenway Franks!) And I love that Jacoby Ellsbury has recently agreed to go on a date with me…*awkward silence*
However, there is one minor detail that is different about being at a ballet, and being at a sports game, (besides the guy that’s sitting above you wearing the tacky shirt who spills beer all over your head, and apologizes, while spitting chewed up nachos on you). This minor difference is the way people cheer. Cheering at a ballet is polite, composed, and graceful. So of course at M’s ballet standing up and shouting “You go girl! Lookin’ Fine! Line up fellas!” is inappropriate, though I know M would appreciate it.
Note: So is yelling “Hey M! Nice pirouette, want to grab a drink later and catch up!”
Which brings me to my next point, obnoxious crowd members who yell at the professional basketball players during a time out:
People who have no awareness of personal space and/or have social voice volume disorder, seem to follow me everywhere. Man who brings his dog in a man purse into the coffee shop and speaks to it? Right next to me. Gal Pals on the beach blasting “Party In The USA” and yelling over their music? We might as well be towel buddies. Couple out to dinner in the middle of an argument, slamming their utensils?…Next table over. So in every day fashion, the belligerent fan, shouting at the top of his lungs, to each individual player at the Celtics game? Row behind me.
“RONDO!!! RONNNNDDDDDOOOO! GIVE A BROTHER A LOOK! GIVE US A WAVE! HOW’S IT GOING? GOOD GAME RONDO! HOW’S YOUR MOTHER? RONDO!!..RONDOOOO! I LOVE YOU RONDO!! THAT ONE ARMED BOUNCE PASS TO GARNETT FOR THE SLAM DUNK WAS AMAZING, AND I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU CAN TEACH ME HOW TO DO IT! RONDO! LET’S BE BEST BUDS!
I sincerely don’t think this guy knew that Rondo was not answering him. In his mind, the conversation went a little something like this:
Belligerent Celtics Fan : YO what up! Bro hand-shake!
Rondo: Good to see you here, Man! Glad you got the call about twin night at the TD Garden! We finally pulled off wearing matching jerseys!
BCF: Thanks my man! Twinning! #9 for the win!
Rondo: Well, the time out is over, back to the game.
BCF: DO WORK SON! Maybe you can teach me how to Dougie later.
And let’s be honest, we all know who Rajon Rondo would REALLY give a shout out to in the middle of a professional basketball game. Belligerent Celtics Fan, (aka BCF), perhaps you should go to a ballet. While you’re there, say hi to my friend M…the only swan in “The Nutcracker”