We Are Here With You

I know my blog has been a bit heavy lately in terms of content, and while many who know me in person know this is the exact opposite of my personality in real life, I am not quite ready to depart from contemplation. I have debated not writing about this, not touching this subject. It is a subject that sent waves of terror through every parent in the country, and quite literally broke hearts across the world. In the last four days, friends from all around the globe reached out to express their sincere sympathies to a grieving country.

It is a subject that I do not know how to write about.

I don’t understand it.

For four days, I was at a total loss of words.  For four days, I sat numb on my couch, surrounded by a mound of damp tissues, and then my sleeve when the box went empty. I watched news coverage that I knew would only rip me apart, enraged that children who were barely able to write their own names were the ones being interviewed on national television. Nauseated, I sobbed on the couch as if I had lost children of my own.  I sobbed for the children in my life that are not mine.

I sobbed for my parents,
for their parents,
for them.

I do not know how to write about this.

I considered that perhaps whispering my disbelief into silence was the best way of coping with the act that has left an entire nation traumatized. However, to do that would feel like I am not coping at all. I simply can’t return to every day life, not yet anyway. I am sitting in an airport on my way to Australia and my heart just constantly aches. I am not ready to return to a life of lighthearted social media, when I can barely digest the media itself.

In the airport, I watch as a mother and father play tag in the open isles with their daughter, no older than six. All I can think about are the families, the little faces on the television screen, and the fact that there are no words in any language that can bring clarity to this.

I do not know how to write about this.

Here’s what I do know:

You are loved. You matter, irrevocably, to the people in your life. The thought of life without you in it does not make sense, not even to me. Please, take care of yourself. Take care of yourself, because you are so important. Take care of your loved ones. Make amends. Say you’re sorry. Say it’s okay. Forgive. Love yourself. I don’t have fancy words for this. Eloquence is not my concern. You are my concern.

I will close this blog post on two notes:

1) Please, if anybody needs to talk, to try to make sense of this, my inbox is always open to you. I just want you all to know how much you matter, how much you mean, and what an important part of this world you are. (carley{at}findingravity{dot}com)

2) Below you’ll find information on donating to families of the victims, the school, and various other ways you can help. I understand that not everybody financially is able to donate money, and there are absolutely no obligations here. This is a safe place, for everyone. All I want to do is provide the information and let the families and the town of Newtown know that we are behind them.

We are here with you, Newtown. We are ALL here with you.

Sandy Hook School Support Fund
c/o Newton Savings Bank
39 Main Street, Newton CT 06470

Emily Parker Fund:
Emilie Parker Memorial
PO Box 12751
Ogden, UT 84412-2751

You can donate to the Sandy Hook Family Fund (Over $255,000 has been raised so far).

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**If you know of any more, PLEASE feel free to share. I will continue to update this list.**

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10 thoughts on “We Are Here With You

  1. The school I am working at called Newtown to ask if there was a day we could go help set up their new school and the secretary informed us through tears that they have already completed it due to the overwhelming amount of volunteers,support, and donations. She suggested donating as helpful way to support, the families of the victims get to decide where the money goes.

  2. What an touching post, it’s never easy to write about something so tragic. I’m glad you found the courage to write something so coherently and finished.

    When I first found out about what had happened, I tried to write about it in so many different ways that it just angered me so much on why anyone in this world would do this, especially with children being the victims here, I ended up trashing the post.

    All I can say is, thanks for putting this down on paper so to speak on what is going on in everyone’s minds.

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