I have a habit of finding people in public but private scenarios who love getting all up in my biz-nass. Or maybe, people who get all up in my biz-nass have a habit of finding me in public but private scenarios.
Who knows? Either way, I end up in excruciatingly awkward situations.
Let me paint a picture of what I consider to be public but private situations.
-Going to a coffee shop with intentions of writing and ending up sitting next to dog in purse guy.
-Public transportation ALWAYS.
-Elevators ALWAYS.
-Studying at the library and inadvertently becoming a couple’s relationship counselor.
-Going to the movies to watch Transformers and sitting next to Slurpee Man. Bro, seriously, your Slurpee is empty, you can stop slurping in my ear now.
These are all real life examples.
I’d like to take a moment to touch on public transportation. My directional skills are pretty inconsistent. (Code for horrible. They are HORRIBLE. The little blue Google maps dot on my iPhone hates me). Because I live in New York, I rely on public transportation to get me pretty much everywhere.
Before moving to New York, I sold my car to a good friend. On one hand, I am SO glad that I don’t have to deal with driving a car in the city. Being a pedestrian in NYC is scary enough; I don’t need to add a motorized vehicle into the mix. However, I do miss driving. Having a car is great not only because I can jam out to Will Smith and nobody can judge me (I have a strict “my car, my music” rule) but also because I really do enjoy taking solo drives once in a while.
Due to the fact that I’ve sold my car, solo drives no longer exist in my world. Due to the fact that I now live in New York, solo anything also no longer exists.
Public transportation takes this to a whole new level.
While I do enjoy a good head nod to a funky fresh beat, Night At The Roxbury style of course, being forced listen to Pitbull through somebody else’s headphones on volume 250 for six hours is not my idea of a good time. It’s also not my idea of funky fresh. To drown this girl’s music out, I had to turn my iPod up so loud that it was physically painful. I’m sure everyone around us thoroughly enjoyed the strange remix of Pitbull and The Lumineers.
David Guetta, you’re welcome.
NNNnnst-NNNst-NNNst , womp-womp!
At the end of my excruciatingly long, 9th grade dance-esque, solo bus ride home, I took comfort in one thing and one thing only.
Across from me, a man fell asleep on a woman’s shoulder. It was obvious that
a) they did not know each other
b) she felt uncomfortable
c) he desperately needed to go to a sleep clinic
I can’t imagine much worse than being stuck on public transportation with a strange man drooling and snoring on your shoulder.
Unless of course that man IS Pitbull, and he’s rapping the lyrics to “Hotel Room Service” in his sleep.
“We at the hotel…motel…”
Ugh. Never mind.
findingravity
I actually laughed so hard at this. I think you nailed it with “ninth grade dance-esque”.
All we were missing was the awkward dance circle, which ALSO would have invaded my personal space!
I have no love for people who have their headphones up that loud. I’m almost to the point where I’m brave enough to say something.
Haha I know. I dream about saying something along the lines of, “HI YOU CAN’T HEAR ME BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING DEAF AS WE SPEAK, BUT CAN YOU TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN?”
I feel you on how frustrating public transportation can be! I take the train in Washington, DC daily and I get subjected to crappy rap music turned up to deafening volumes (even for people that aren’t wearing the headphones) daily.
Another awkward public transportation moment is trying to figure out who on earth to sit next to when all of them are looking at you like you’re a leper, but you don’t want to stand for that 30+ minute ride to your destination, so you just have to pick the lesser of the evils.
What IS public transport without crappy rap music?! Thanks for reading!
This made me laugh out loud and really cherish the fact that I have my own car with my own music and that the only person putting their head on my shoulder is my husband, with my permission of course.
So happy you get to enjoy all of that!
OMG I am laughing out loud and John is snoring how funny is that ! WHAT personal space LOL
Haha I hear ya!
Is it bad that I’ve done most of those elevator items? #noshame
It’s actually kind of amazing!!
I SO relate to your directional-challengedness. I am the EXACT same way, and often find myself on the wrong public transportation :p Luckily I too have never had someone fall asleep on me before! =D