Okay guys and girls, I am officially hanging out with superheros. The Hulk and I are fist bumping, Spiderman and I are making secret spidey handshakes, and I am NOT going on the Jaws ride because it doesn’t exist anymore. Hooray! When I’m not busy earning a cape of my very own, I’ll be by the pool with a fruity drink jamming out to Bob Marley. Not a care in the world.

Do you hate me yet?

The lovely Victoria is here taking over my blog today (all the way from England, might I add). I’ve mentioned before, but I totally love my international peeps, so I’m really excited to have the chance to showcase some of her fabulous work. She’s an absolute doll, and when she pitched me the idea of writing about the life lessons she learned from the show Friends, I practically melted. She is funny, endearing, and pretty much makes you say “awww” throughout the entire post.

SO, without further delay, please show lots of love and give a warm FRIENDLY (get it?) welcome to Victoria!

[Photo Cred]

Things I Learned From Friends:

Hello everyone! This is not your usual Finding Gravity post – my name is Victoria, and I’m here guest-posting while Carley is away. I’m a 2nd year university student from England – born and raised in London; I’m now living and studying in Durham, my new home-away-from-home.

Despite the 300-mile distance between us, my best friend is still my best friend. I mean, I’ve known her more than half my life – she knows too much for me to let her go! She nagged me for years to get into watching Friends, but at school it was always on TV at the wrong time, and when I did watch random episodes, I didn’t really understand what was going on. I also didn’t understand the jokes my friends made about it; references that passed me by; catchphrases that I couldn’t join in. So in my second year at university, in a second-hand DVD shop one day, I came across seasons 1-4, for just £15 (maybe $20?) and bought them on a whim. Little did I know; I was going to get hooked…

Within the last 4 months, I’ve watched 9 seasons – with just half of season 10, the shortest of them all left – it’s time to put fingers to typing. I want to write about what I’ve learnt from Friends. It turns out, some days watching an entire season (that’s what university vacations are for, right?!) means you really feel like you know the characters. You draw parallels with all sorts of things from your own life. Nevertheless, the reason I wanted to write this post to think about all the things I’ve learnt from my friends, and Friends.

1. Life is about learning to love and accept friends as the family you can choose.
Your family are the people who are around from the very start – they make you, but they don’t always define you. Also, you can end up many miles away from them; they are often right (maybe even too right?) and are supposed to love you, no matter what. They fit a specific set of criteria in your life; but you don’t get to choose them. They are who they are, and you are who you are. Your friends, on the other hand, can define who you become. They grow up with you, go through the same kind of things, and don’t have the same biases your family might have. If that dress makes you look silly, they’ll tell you; if they think you deserve better, if you need to pipe down and keep your mouth shut, or if you need to speak up; friends are on your side even when you are not. Especially at times when your family aren’t around, for whatever reason, your friends will be. Love them because they love you. Accept them, because these people put up with you – voluntarily – which probably makes them as bonkers, and as loveable, as you are.

2. Friendship is the basis of strong relationships.
It took Monica and Chandler 4 seasons to get together, and they’d known each other a long time before that. Similarly, despite Ross’s years of unrequited love for Rachel, they became friends before they became anything more. Although I really would not advocate systematically fancying your friends, just on the off-chance of a wonderful relationship blossoming, it’s really important to remember that deep and meaningful relationships need a strong foundation, rooted in trust, sharing and friendship. It means you have plenty in common, not just a physical attraction but mutual connection.

3. It is good to be comfortable with each other (i.e. The One with the Boobies).
This applies both to your friends and any ‘significant other’. I don’t really mean this in a bare-all way (!), more that you have to be comfortable that they know you; with your feelings, views, sexuality, opinions, choices and all the rest. There is something really nice, as a girl, having guy friends that don’t fancy you but appreciate that you are attractive. Little boost, no hassle. So get comfortable – hugging, sharing, or just being there – it’s not “touchy-feely”, but being too distant can either push people away or you just never let them in; ultimately, you can lose out on a great friendship. I live with 3 guys, and their eating habits make Joey’s maternity-trousers and food-binging days look restrained! But then, when I have a bad day and turn to the Ben and Jerry’s, or have second helpings of my favourite macaroni cheese – I don’t judge them, they don’t judge me. Being mutually comfortable saves a lot of time, effort and nonsense – just have fun being friends!

4. Sometimes, you need to put people behind you, and get out of bad relationships.
Early on in the series, a running joke was the way Chandler would always get back together with Janice; like many relationships, especially on-off ones, there comes a time when you simply need to move out and start afresh. When your gut instinct is telling you to leave and not go back, trust that inner voice. Without the relationship necessarily being ‘toxic’, your dwelling on it can make it so. Over-thinking, over-analysing – it’s easy to be guilty of it, but sometimes it’s time to put an end or a stop to it. Your friends and family will be there to pick up the pieces; but the longer you keep repeating the same mistakes, the more reluctant they can become. Honesty with yourself is just as important as honesty with the other person, and with your friends.

5. If it’s “meant to be”, it’ll work out in the end.
Having said that it is important to move on, there are times when you have to assure yourself that it’ll work out in the end. Ross and Rachel are my key example here; I know this might seem contradictory advice, but it’s being able to tell the difference that is the tricky part, really. I recently heard the phrase: everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it isn’t the end. I’m not just trying to be profound for the sake of it; trusting that things will work out if they’re supposed to can save a lot of sleepless nights and depraved phone calls to your best friend. Life doesn’t necessarily have the happy ever after, or the ride off into the sunset; relationships require work, and getting together with someone is not the end of the journey, but the beginning of another. So if it’s not working, I reckon it’s either a test, work at it some more; if not, maybe there’s a reason it’s just not right.

6. You always need someone funny in your life, no matter how bad the jokes.
It’s really useful to have a friend who’s good at hugs, good at phone calls, and good at baking… and so on. Often, though, I think the most important thing is that you have a friend that makes you laugh. It doesn’t matter if you laugh with them, at yourself, whatever; laughter is the best medicine, for being down, for being broken-hearted. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. It’s incredibly difficult to have a friendship or relationship where one person is constantly moaning, complaining, being down – there’s a place and a time; it’s OK, because you have to be able to share these things. As long as it’s not all the time, every time – take the time to laugh together, and the times when you cry together will be put in perspective.

7. With your Friends, you can weather the storms of unemployment, being broke, dating, break ups, relationships, family, weddings, pregnancy, fertility problems… and so much more.
Don’t shut out the very people that can help you cope. Being comfortable with them means it does not matter if they see you on the off-days, when hormones/stress/the world is getting you down. In all probability, they might have had a similar experience; they can help you through it if you first let them in. Yes, it is tempting to retreat back to bed, refuse to leave the building; let your friends in and at least there’ll be someone there to sit and eat the ice cream with you; to make you a cup of tea; pick you up and make you smile. Life is not meant to easy, but friends (and for me, Friends), make some days so much easier to get through. You and they will have highs and lows, separately and together, but no one should have to go through life alone – it doesn’t matter how far away they are physically, as long as you are emotionally close, the world will seem a better place.

The theme tune defined the decade-spanning show as much as any single attribute could. The Rembrandts tell us, twice an episode, I’ll Be There.
I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before
I’ll be there for you, because you’re there for me too.

All these life lessons really can be learnt just from a TV series! It doesn’t matter if you have never seen it, if you don’t like it (but, I mean, really?! Try watching it right from the beginning…), whatever. Also, don’t get hung up trying to work out who’s who amongst your friends… it can end badly. I simply think these are important life lessons, whether you learn them from Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Ross, or you learn them somewhere else. It doesn’t matter how you learn the lesson, as long as you do.

On Wednesday, I took a trip back to New York. This time, I knew I would have to stay overnight, so Blake insisted on coming in fear that I’d get abducted volunteered to come with me. We’re in our twenties, live on our own, and are overall pretty self sufficient. We are “comfortable” financially, which means, between the two of us, we aren’t ever living pay check to pay check. I have to give us credit, because for the most part, we’re pretty budget conscious. After saving for months, we have been able to splurge a little extra money on a five day vacation in Florida, because, well, we deserve it.

I found out I’d be returning to NYC on Wednesday, and finding a place to stay that didn’t require Blake and I selling our vital organs to be able to afford a single night was a scramble. I tried coercing Blake into selling a kidney. I mean, you REALLY only need one. He wasn’t having it.
Shucks.

Seriously, New York City hotels are other worldly in that they are so expensive, that I’d have to consider not grocery shopping and power walking 18 miles to and from work every day to avoid spending money on gasoline. Last Christmas, we stayed at a lavish hotel on Broadway, but it was a Christmas present. Even the basic hotels that aren’t ritzy are absurdly priced. Blake and I had no other choice but to put our magic rings together and summon the great powers of the universe. (Similar to captain planet, except, we’re not saving the earth. We also don’t have magic rings. I also don’t have green hair. This analogy is quickly dissipating).


We did, however, combine our seasoned experiences to find the cheapest alternate option. Blake and I are veterans when it comes to traveling with as little, and for as little, as humanly possible. We are experienced public transport riders, weathered trip packers, and practically old timers when it comes to tracking down hostels that offer clean towels and don’t make you feel like you’re in the middle of a horror movie.

We checked into our hostel and grabbed a bite to eat on Amsterdam Street. Let me preface this by saying that I was slightly devastated that I did not get to watch the season finale of American Idol. I am not really a television series kind of person (except F-R-I-E-N-D-S, boo ya!). I don’t really get into the whole “watching the same show, on the same day, at the same time, every week” thing. This was the first time IN MY LIFE that I’ve watched American Idol all the way through, and it’s only because I watched the auditions and instantly made the prediction that Phil Phillips would win based on his acoustic audition of “Thriller.”

Of course I guessed correctly, like a boss.
And Phil Phillips won, like a boss.
Good work Phil, I couldn’t have done it without you.
I’d like to thank my boyfriend for guessing incorrectly, Jessica Sanchez for not winning, my mom for birthing me….Oh wait? I DON’T get to make a speech? Right. Never mind.

Much to my dismay, American Idol was NOT playing in the bar because the Ranger’s game was on, but you know what WAS playing? The Celtics Game. Can I just declare what a glorious moment it is when you are the only Boston fan sitting in a bar full of New York fans?

After a round of baked lobster mac n’ cheese, fish and chips, French fries, and two beers, we decided to head back to the hostel.

By the way, all of that food was JUST my order.
Blake had a salad.

Kidding.

Once we were back at the hostel, I hopped in bed and obsessively refreshed the #AmericanIdol search on twitter until the winner was announced and I could finally rest peacefully again. This is when things turned CRAY.

Before falling asleep I made sure to plug my iPhone into the charger. There was a conveniently located outlet just below my bed. I plugged in my phone, popped my headphones in and dozed off dreamily listening to Mumford and Sons somewhere between 11:00-12:00. For the next few hours, Blake snored like rolling thunder (hi babe!) and I tossed and turned restlessly, in and out of sleep. Around 3am our hostel door opened. Two hostel employees had used their master key card to enter our room. One of them held a backpack filled to the brim with brightly lit devices. The other spoke in a hushed tone.

“Just get the cell phone, and don’t wake anyone up!”

And that was the last thing I heard. Around 6:00 in the morning, I woke up again tangled in my sheets. I looked to my left, and my cell phone had unmistakably been removed from the charger. Blake may or may not have been still snoring. Did the hostel staff steal my cell phone? They totally did. Right? They used a master key card, crept into our room, left my wallet, my credit card, and purse alone, tip toed over to our hostel/college dorm style bunk beds, stole my phone, shoved it into the backpack with the other lit up devices, and left swiftly and stealthily into the night.

Not at all ridiculous.

Blake’s alarm went off at 7am and I sat up, more confused than ever.
After rummaging through my pillows and sheets, I found my iPhone, all the way at the foot of the bed under the blankets.

Which could only mean one of two things.

The hostel staff CLEARLY felt guilty about stealing my iPhone, returned to the scene of the crime when I drifted back off, and put it inconspicuously at the end of my bed so I would think that I kicked it down there in my sleep.

Or, I had a very strange dream.

[Photo Cred]

I never thought I’d be the girl that just…fell. I think falling can be good, like when you take a voluntary leap into the unknown, yet somehow, you accept whatever it is you’re about to get yourself into. You free fall for a while and just before you hit the ground, you yank your parachute. It lifts you up, and suddenly you can see the entire world from a distance. Everything make sense because you have the time to absorb it. The fall. It’s a gradual one. That was the girl I thought I was. That was the girl I always wanted to be.

I had no idea I’d become a girl who fell in a completely different way, a girl who let another person blindfold her before pushing her off the ledge.

I met Ben during my freshmen year of college. After a weekend filled with cheap beer and greasy pizza, I volunteered to carry the mountain of pizza boxes crowing the doorway down to the dumpster. Awkwardly, I balanced the towering boxes above my head, against my petite frame, and wobbled blindly down the hall. When I reached the elevator, I pushed the button and waited. The elevator door slid open and as I stepped inside, two boys charged out of the opposite hallway door and made their way around the corner toward the stairs.

I briefly made eye contact with one of the two boys as I stepped inside the elevator, holding my leaning tower of pizza boxes. Just as the door began to close on our momentary eye contact encounter, a hand quickly slid inside of the door, bouncing the elevator door back open.

“Need a hand?”
“I think I’m okay, thank you.”
“I’m Ben.” He stepped inside the elevator and lifted the boxes out of my hands ignoring my answer to his question.
“I’m Carley…” My voice trailed off. It was the first real look I’d been able to get of him. He was handsome, blonde, and tall enough that the pizza boxes barely grazed his chin.
“Are you new? I’ve never seen you around.”

“I just transferred here.”

We made our way down to the dumpster and he tossed the boxes in.

“See you around.” He flashed a smile at me and crossed the street.

And we did. It was like a horrible montage of perfectly ordered scenarios, set to a cheesy, acoustic, Jack Johnson song. We saw each other around campus, quite often actually. We always exchanged friendly passing hellos in the hallway, short elevator rides on the way to class, and across the room waves in the cafeteria. Eventually we began careless small talk, which turned into real conversations followed by continual hang outs, and genuine laughter. We actually had a lot in common, from music preferences to where we’d grown up, in small wealthy beach towns populated by surfers and sea lovers.

We clicked, effortlessly.

As things like this often go, Ben and I eventually became a romantic comedy gone horribly wrong, with no clear boundaries and no clear official relationship established. We were “Ben and Carley” and that’s the way it was. For the next two and a half years we became an on again off again fiasco. Two and a half years of lunch dates at the local café. Two and a half years of tipsy dance parties, clumsy hand holding, and promises to visit each other at the end of every school year.

Two and a half years of truly believing that deep down, he was a good person.

And he was.

But there is a difference between being a good person and being the right person.

You see, he wasn’t a bad guy at all; he was actually a great guy. He made me laugh and he made me feel adored when we were in each others company. Unfortunately, a pattern developed, and this pattern surfaced and resurfaced. Here’s how things went: After months spent together it would get to the point where things were verging on serious, and then the closer we became, the further he would disappear.

Just like that.
No conversation.
Just…gone.

And I felt stupid.
And I felt used.
And then I felt furious.
And then I moved on.

I ignored the text messages, and the attempted approaches on campus. I ignored him in front of his friends and in front of my friends. I pressed “ignore” when I saw his calls coming through, even if I knew he could see me avoiding his call. I deleted text messages and flaky apologies. I rejected the puppy dog eyes at parties, and his friends trying to explain his behavior. I moved on.

Somehow, when I least expected it, after space, distance, and clarity, Ben would charm his way back into my life. It always started out the same: A kind gesture, a compliment, and a proposal to hang out. It was usually lunch at that local café, filled with lighthearted catch ups and how have you been’s. It was harmless, except it wasn’t.

It wasn’t harmless at all.
It was toxic, because I had myself convinced that I didn’t care.
And the worst kinds of lies are the ones you feed yourself.

The viscous cycle would begin again. We would consistently hang out, watch movies, hold hands, and have long conversations. I met parents and siblings, and heard family stories. I let myself fall off that cliff even faster and harder than the time before. He would be kind and caring for weeks, and without warning, he would eventually become distant and cold right before I hit the pavement.

During the last week of our sophomore year, we threw a surprise party for a close friend. Toward the end of a night filled with mixed drinks and sneaky kisses, one of Ben’s friends referred to me as his girlfriend, and the appalled look on Ben’s face was enough to make a person want to crawl into a cave. It was apparent that I wasn’t good enough. I grabbed my coat and headed for the door, making my way back toward my dorm in the pouring rain. Surprisingly, Ben chased after me.

“I’m sorry!” He shouted.
“No, you’re not.” I yelled back without turning around.
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to care!” Finally, I turned around to face him.
“I do care!”
“Stop!” I screamed.
“I’m not good enough for you, Carley.”
“I know you’re not!”

The rain poured down on us as we stood face to face addressing our feelings for the very first time. Frustrated, I shouted, as he tried to be the person he thought I wanted him to be.

Ben told me he wanted me to visit him over the summer. I’d heard this one before. It was an ominous phrase not to be trusted. He asked if he could see me on the last day of classes, before I packed up and went home. I told him that I would be in my dorm packing, but I would be happy to grab lunch at that spot in town if he gave me a call. He told me he’d call me at 1:00, and I told him not to make plans with me if he had no intentions of keeping them.

I finished packing before noon, and I waited.
And waited.
And waited.

By 3:00 it was clear he was not going to call, so I said goodbye to all of my friends and drove two hours home.

I cried the entire way.

Again, I felt stupid.
And I felt used.
And then I felt furious.
And then I moved on.

Junior year I moved into a house with four friends. They of course asked how things with Ben and I had panned out, and I gave them the ol’ I hope I never see him again speech. Ironically, that day after moving into our new home, I ventured onto campus to pick up my books. Sitting on a bench with his feet resting nonchalantly on his skateboard, sat Ben with his friends. I tried to ignore him, but he called out my name. Immediately, I spun in the opposite direction. I developed tunnel vision on the nearest building, in which I did not even have class, and picked up my speed hoping he would not catch up to me.

He showed up on my doorstep two days later promising he’d changed.
And he had changed…for like, two months.

It was pure bliss. After every two or three weeks I sat back on my heels and expected him to run, and each time, he surprised me. The new mutual exclusivity was hard to believe at first. My friends were in just as much shock as I was, thinking that maybe he really had figured it out. He took me out to dinners and walked me to class every day. He carried my books. He told me that things were different this time.

A storm, of course, was on the horizon. We were mutually exclusive, but we still weren’t anything. I wanted to know that the games were REALLY over.

On a Saturday night in November, Ben stumbled into my apartment after a night of drinking, and passed out on my bed. Around 2:00 in the morning, my phone rang. I noticed a girl’s name on the screen who I had not met before. Not wanting to know the obvious answer, I let the phone ring and tried to fall back asleep. Of course, the phone rang again, so I picked up. The confused girl on the line asked if Ben still planned to spend the night with her.

The next night, Ben and I met up at the library to study. I was uncomfortable the whole evening, and despite Ben’s attempts at carrying on like things were normal between us, I had nothing to say. I didn’t want to play games, I was sick of the chase, I just wanted answers. After nearly three years of pretending things were fine, I decided something needed to change, or I needed to leave. I was tired of being the girl that he kept letting go. I grabbed by bag, stood up to leave without saying a word, and Ben followed me out the door.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“I need to know something.”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“What we are.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, we’ve been doing this dance for almost three years, Ben.”
“What do you want me to say?” I could sense his resistance to the conversation.
“I want to know if we are dating.” The band aid had been ripped off, I thought the worst part was over.
“I can’t do this, Carley.”
“I think I deserve an answer.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t give you one.” He responded.

Everything was clear.

“Then we’re nothing.” I answered.

Ben took a step toward me, and hesitated. He went to speak, and stopped himself. For the first time in almost 3 years, he was both remotely and briefly cautious with his actions. Instead of fixing things, instead of explaining himself, he turned around and walked away, leaving me standing there alone.

I sat down on the stone wall next to the library and watched him walk away from me.

In my head, my own voice echoed, turn around, turn around, please turn around…”

And he didn’t. Not once.

I guess I’m sharing this story because I deserved better. It didn’t matter that everybody and their mother knew that Ben wasn’t good enough for me. I was stubborn. I blatantly disregarded my own feelings in the midst of my feelings being disregarded by somebody else. I was caring a lot about somebody while taking absolutely no time to care about myself. That should have been the first red flag, but there were many more that followed

There are people holding onto the hope that that the person they are seeing will figure things out. They fight “the good fight” and wait patiently for the day that the light bulb will go off. They believe against all odds and advice that things will change and the person will love them back. Sometimes, it’s not enough. Sometimes you’ve done everything right, you’ve done more than you should, you’ve waited out the rain and it only rained harder.

Just remember, YOU are enough, and you shouldn’t wait three years to figure that out. YOU deserve the whole world and there is somebody out there who is going to give it to you.

If you keep chasing the person who is never going to give you what you need, you risk losing the person out there who wants to. Or worse, you risk losing yourself.

http://8tracks.com/findingravity/we-think-we-have-it-all-figured-out

Ready for a joke? What’s black and white and red (cough read) all over…A newspaper, you say? Nahhh.

It’s my column “Learning The Hustle”  in LA Family Magazine! This week’s topic for “Learning The Hustle” in the Life After College section is living on a budget.

Budget? Wait, what? I don’t even…WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?

Budg-et (n): a plan for the coordination of resources and expenditures; the amount of money that is available for, required for, or assigned to a particular purpose

Thanks, Merriam-Webster…

Check out My Latest Article: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200. You also get to see me act all awkward during a weekly Life After College vlog on the website.

LA Family has given me my own landing page, so if you happened to miss an article, and you’re all, “I was GOING to read a few “Learning The Hustle” articles from Life After College, but since I can’t find the article I’m looking for, I will sit on my couch and watch Game Of Thrones instead…”

HAVE NO FEAR.


We are getting high tech over here. Serious face. All of that Facebook/NASDAQ talk will surely die down once people realize that on the landing page, they can find all of the articles I’ve already written for LA Family archived in order of appearance for their convenience.

Thank you to everyone who has shown support towards the new column. If you’re new to this, stop by, click like, leave a comment, and do a little dance. While you’re there, poke around in the Life After College section because LA Family Magazine has picked up a bunch of really great writers who all offer completely different perspectives.

On a different note

I will be going to Florida in a little over a week, and while I am gone, I will be looking for a guest post or two. It’s not that I DON’T love you guys, because I do! I’d just rather be ballin’ with Spiderman and The Hulk than be spending my few precious days in Florida in a scoliosis induced posture, typing away on my keyboard.

What can I say, I kick it with superheros.

Hopefully you’ve been around long enough to catch the general vibe of my blog. Once in a while I write about serious stuff like that time squirrels literally chewed their way into my apartment. For the week I’m gone, I’m looking for TWO bloggers to fill in for me. You can pitch me a few ideas, but I can immediately tell you a few things I will NOT accept

-Anything that inappropriate, derogatory, or offensive toward specific people or groups of people. I’m not down with sexism, bigotry, or racism.  Not that I think my fabulous readers engage in any of those types of behavior, but it’s always good to be on the safe side.
-Anything referring to the recent Time Magazine breast feeding cover. I’ve read enough arguments on it already. Time Magazine received the exact reaction they were looking for. Moms everywhere are yelling at each other and calling each other bad parents. It’s cray. If you DO want to read an interesting perspective on it, check out my girl JW Moxie over at AimingLow. She IS a great parent, and she DOES rock!
-Previously published material. I keep it fresh here in Findingravity. Nothing you’ve already published on your own blog, and nothing from Sparknotes.com

Shoot me an email: carley@findingravity.com with a pitch for a super awesome blog post, and we can work something out. I’m looking forward to sharing and promoting a few different voices on the blog!

Hope everyone has an excellent weekend. Don’t forget about the giveaway TOMORROW, (Click here to learn more). Pinned Pretty is sponsoring the May giveaway this month and has donated a supa dupa fine, hand made, lined make up bag!

Oh you fancy, huh?

I’ve been evaluating lately what I my readers seem to respond most to.

I promise this isn’t a self fulfilling prophecy, I really do want to make sure that I’m staying true to writing about what I love, WHILE keeping in mind what it is that you all enjoy reading about. I mean, I could write an entire blog about how much sharks freak me out, but I GUESS it would become monotonous and repetitive.

SPEAKING of my incessant fear of all things shark-toothy, DID I TELL YOU GUYS!?

They closed the Jaws ride at Universal Studios.

Blake and I will be going to Florida on vacation, and I cannot tell you how elated I am. He was definitely going to figure out a way to get me to go on that ride, and let me tell you, it would have been a lot less “I’ll pay you ten dollars” and a lot more…restraining me, picking me up, and physically carrying me on the ride.

I’m bummed though. The “Back to the Future” ride is also gone. A classic movie, and a classic ride. If the new generations can’t find some way to connect to Back to the Future, then I am unsure exactly what this world is coming to.

So in between writing for LA Family Magazine, work, and traveling to NYC, I have been doing a lot of brainstorming. Handy dandy google analytics/wordpress stats tell me that my posts about music always seem to gain a lot of traffic, comments, and overall merriment. What has me EVEN MORE excited than stats, is the fact that some of you have picked up on my seemingly unhealthy obsession with listening to, writing about, and eating music. Some of you have even taken it upon yourselves to SHARE music with me.

Amazing.

So because I use 8tracks, and because you fine folks seem to respond to my music posts, I’ve decided to incorporate 8tracks into my blog more! If you’re not sure what 8tracks is, let me explain. 8tracks is a wonderful music sharing website, where people create their own mixes and share them within the 8tracks community. What’s great about this, is when you create a mix, you have to include the artist, the album title, and the year, so you can see exactly where the music is coming from. You can search artists and songs, OR if you’re feeling adventurous, you can also search emotions, feelings, moods, etc.

For example, when I’m cleaning my apartment, I usually search “Old School Jams,” in hopes that 8tracks will give me something with Salt N Pepa.

Here’s how this is going to work:

See all of those pretty different colored buttons on my sidebar below the follow button? Let me break them down for you.

-The twitter button will bring you to my twitter page, where you can indulge in my sarcastic little insights about life, NBA rants, social media retweets, and occasional songs. Follow me. Do it. I dare ya.
-The email button will open YOUR email, so that you can send ME an email. Wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am. My email can also be found in the contact section in the menu above.  My emails usually range from guest post proposals, brands and giveaway inquiries, questions, and general hellos (which I love more than anything else). If you feel the urge to send me any of those, go right ahead!
-The Pinterest button will of course bring you to my pinterest page, where you’ll find words that I like, organic living recipes and tips, and a Pinboard for my someday wedding that would probably give Blake a heart attack.
-The Webstagram button will bring you to where all of my Instagram pictures are stored. I’m attempting to partake in the May Photo A Day, though at the moment I’m failing miserably.

AND LAST, which is the entire reason for this post:
-The 8tracks button

Originally, that button brought you to my personal 8tracks, which Blake and I used to send each other music when we were living on different planets in different countries. I decided that making a Findingravity 8tracks page would be more useful and interactive for all of my readers. I’ve thought about introducing “8tracks Music Monday” but I’m not sure if that Alliteration sounds cheesy. I’m also not sure if I want to stick to Mondays. For now, we’ll go with Mondays because I feel like new music is a great way to start the week.

Here’s the idea.

8tracks Monday is going to be a way for me to share music with you. I’m going to create and then post a weekly mix on Mondays, of the music that I’ve been listening to. Here’s where you come in! I’ll also be taking suggestions and requests, so if you feel like giving me a heads up about the new Justin Beiber a sweet song you heard, follow me on twitter and shout out your recent brilliant musical discoveries. Some weeks will have a theme, and some weeks will be completely random. Either way, I’ll be asking for your input in Twitter.

Just think of me like a DJ, and picture me hunched over my computer with one end of an obnoxiously large set of headphones pressed to my ears.

*Scratch Scratch* *Wikka Wikka*

I’d also appreciate if somebody came up with a rad DJ name for me.

This weeks mix is a compilation of music that has been inspiring me lately. It is music that I’ve listened to on my iPod while photographing or music that I’ve discovered while writing. I’m very excited to share this mix with you this week, and I’m excited to create more mixes to share with you. Considering I listen to music while I do just about everything in my life, I have a plethora of amazing music stacked up in my brain.

Once I have more mixes created, you’ll be able to access all of them from my Findingravity profile page by clicking the 8tracks button on my sidebar. That way, if there is a particular mix that you really loved, you’ll be able to find it without having to backlog through my entire blog.

For now, click the 8 tracks link here and it will bring you directly to the mix. From there, all you have to do is click play.

Don’t forget to find me on Twitter so you can shout out to me if you’ve found music worth sharing with the rest of our blogging community.

Enjoy, Peeps! Happy listening. Rock on.

Hello beautiful people! I have some great news for today and the upcoming weeks!

My first article for LA Family Magazine is LIVE! Right now! This very minute! If you could take a few moments out of your day, buzz on over and check it out, drop a comment (instead of dropping one here) click like, write a message in the sky, smoke signals, carrier pigeons, etc.

Here is the link <—



Thank you for your support! Every little bit is appreciated.

Don’t forget about the awesome giveaway that is going on between now and the 19th!
And also:
I’m an awkward turtle when I VLOG.

CHEERS!

So this month, Pinned Pretty has partnered up with Findingravity to bring you the May giveaway! *Golf clap*

Everyone’s encouragement, funny insights, and *giiiiirl, you don’t need make up…fist bumps* have been so appreciated after the last post. I even received an email from one of my male readers, who explained that dudes prefer no make up. I sort of already assumed this to be true, but it was definitely a nice reminder. (side note: shout out to all of the dudes who read this blog. You guys are awesome. You always provide me with a different, and usually hilarious perspective. Thanks for taking a time out from Call Of Duty, flag football, and eating Slim Jims to read about whatever crazy shenanigans I’m up to).

I’m not really wearing make up FOR anybody but myself. I just thought it would fun to learn how/what/how much/what goes where/what is radioactive/what is naturally healthy, etc. All of the tips, brands, suggestions you ladies (and dude) gave me were fabulous. **Remember ladies, just because something is labeled strawberry seduction, does NOT mean it tastes like strawberries. DO NOT EAT YOUR LIPSTICK. (I didn’t try this as an adult, I just thought I’d throw that disclaimer out there. I tried eating lip stick when I was little. The name of the lipstick was quite deceiving. It didn’t taste like mocha madness AT ALL).

Pinned Pretty is an awesome little business I discovered on Etsy. Etsy is full of small independent companies that create wonderful products. Whenever I need ANYTHING I’m like…Etsy, definitely Etsy. You need a new crocheted winter hat? Check Etsy. You need new hand soaps? Check Etsy. You need new toys that won’t poison your children if they happen to gnaw on them a little bit? Put Thomas the Train away and check Etsy.

Pinned Pretty is run by the lovely Kristine, and when I contacted her about sponsoring the giveaway, she generously gave me a number of different products to choose from. They were all STUNNING, so it was hard to choose just one. I felt like a toddler in Toys R Us.

“I want THAT one. NO! I want THAT ONE! And THAT one…”

This month’s giveaway features a beautiful large lined bag from Kristine’s “Turquoise Songbird” collection. The fabric is bright, colorful, and perfect for spring. Not only do these bags serve as wonderful make up bags, but they can also be used to store jewelry, and even art supplies!

To win this giveaway and pick up one of these fantastic bags FO’ FREE here’s what you have to do:

Step 1. Comment on this post to be entered (I am generally speaking to the ladies, but fellas, if your heart is in it to win it, then by all means please enter! You could win the bag for your wifey, girlfriend, dog, whatever).
Step 2. Tweet about the giveaway using @pinnedpretty (*ahem* that means you should FOLLOW Pinned Pretty on twitter first). You should already be following me. Wait. HOLD UP. You’re not following me on Twitter? TISK TISK!

Complete the first step to be entered once, complete both steps to be entered twice. Remember, you MUST tweet @pinnedpretty. If you also feel like tweeting @carbarton, then you’re the bomb diggity and I appreciate it. I HIGHLY suggest completing both steps. Kristine has been so kind to donate something from her wonderful shop, so showing her some love is the least we can do, right? Right.

Check out the rest of the Pinned Pretty Etsy Shop here!
Follow Pinned Pretty on TWITTER here!
Like Pinned Pretty on Facebook here!


I will be announcing the winner on May 19th!

Lastly, if you are a fan of the Findingravity Facebook Page you may have seen that my article for LA Family Magazine goes live tomorrow!! I would greatly appreciate any amount of support you beautiful people feel like showing on the article page tomorrow, since this could potentially lead to a column. I’ll be posting the link tomorrow, with a little VLOG. I’ve accepted that there is no way for me to look cool when I VLOG, so pretending to look cool would be a fallacy. Instead, you’ll just have to deal with my charming goofy awkwardness!